The Moving On Tea Party – A Dirge

I forgive myself for not living the life I thought I would.
I forgive myself for not always being able to hear my own heart.

In between gulps of air I sip cups full of white flower clouds in white teacups.

I honor myself for risking no matter what the fears were.
I honor myself for giving my all, even when all I got did not feel like enough.

In between pressure cracks I sidestep volcanic lava in high healed cowgirl boots.

I grieve the days I lost by being too idealistic and not savvy enough.
I grieve the time I spent pursuing principle while losing precious ground.

In between the chorus of nay-sayers I continue to chant & rant yes-saying.

I lament the times I allowed harm to myself and others knowing or unknowingly.
I lament the times I could have chosen a clearer path but didn’t. Just didn’t.

In between the tears in my fabric Our Lady weaves a cloak of red threads for me.

Don’t worry. Being blue is allowing oneself to reach into the murky depths.
Don’t worry. Being blue is important to anyone who is reaching for the light.

In between the hibiscus blossoms I duck into coral pinkness to breath again.

I am sorry. I hear myself say to myself. To everyone. To you. To God.
I am sorry. I tell the flowers. The ground. The seagulls bickering at my feet.

In between memorized strums from a lone guitar I cry for my lost songs.

I love you. I hear myself say to myself. To everyone. And to God.
I love you. I LOVE YOU. And even this moment of bitterness. I love it too.

In between thunder clouds, I find my footing on that wet ground and do not fall.

You. Wherever you are right now. Whoever you are right now. Don’t give up.
You. My heart extends to embrace you right this moment right now. Now.

In between the cold bowls of sorrow we will find ways to steamy love again.

Find your moving on words and join the the moving on tea party.
Keep sipping until you reach the shore of forgiveness. It is here. Right now.

In between all the burned bridges and broken hearts – I wave to you.
Calling you. Here I am! With you all the while.

God listens to our whispered prayers.

Samovar Tea Lounge – San Francisco

Dirge • a mournful song, piece of music, or poem : singers chanted dirges

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